Weeks after her meltdown, VH1 spoke to Danger about her stay in the hospital, the effects of her postpartum depression, her current mental state, her daughter, whether she’s currently pregnant (as suggested by her Twitter), and so much more. Here’s what the reality star had to say:
I think everyone knows that you’ve been having a rough time lately.
It’s been very rough. People don’t know how serious of an illness postpartum depression is. I’ve had a very rough life. People don’t understand that when you come from a tough past, and you have a child and you have postpartum depression, a lot hits you at once. You always want a better life for your child than what you had.
When did you notice that you were starting to suffer from postpartum depression?
I went back home. My brother got into a near-fatal car accident. He went through a windshield. I went back to the Bay Area to visit him, and the postpartum depression set in when I reconnected with my family, and they met my daughter for the first time. A lot of past memories and experiences came back to me and I became scared for my daughter. I felt like we were unsafe.
The reports suggest that you then snapped, shaved your head and were admitted to a mental institution. Is that how it happened?
People think there was a big thing where I was violent and angry, but that didn’t happen. I was very depressed. I was crying and very sad. I have no support. I have no family support. I have no financial support. I’ve never felt loved.
What about your baby’s dad?
I love him, but I have to get better. I can’t be with him, if I’m not OK.
But is he supporting his daughter?
Of course. He’s a very good father, and he’s a very supportive man. He wants me to get better.
Would you say that you had a breakdown?
I don’t like the word “breakdown,” because it suggests weakness. I’m not a weak person, I’m very strong. I just went through something, and now I’m healing. I didn’t know how much pain I was in, because I keep a lot of things inside. I’m not keeping things inside anymore. I cut my hair so I could start a new life. I’m reborn as a different person, and I’m focusing on being the best mom I can be. When you get famous, people try to tear you apart, and I’m very famous right now. I’m just focusing on being around positive people and being a good mother. All the publicity and the Internet and all that will kill you if you let it. My fans, and everybody, shouldn’t believe the things on the Internet that they say about me, unless I’m saying it. There’s that much jealousy. People want me to fail, and I’m not going to fail. I’ve never failed. I’m a person who wins. Everything I want to do, I do. I achieve things. Just because I had a moment where I was dealing with some problems through postpartum depression, it does not mean that I won’t continue to succeed in my life, no matter what I do.