Naked Man Tries To Board Flight, Says No Clothes Is More Aerodynamic

Source: Flightlevel80 / Getty

This isn’t completely illogical, but still…put your penis away sir.

A man from Moscow is being evaluated after he showed up to his flight in the nude. According to several reports, the unidentified man went through security fully clothed, then got naked before boarding. The Moscow Times states he argued that he would be more “aerodynamic” that way:

“The man passed through the Ural Airlines flight’s registration before suddenly stripping off his clothes and running stark naked onto the jet bridge, eyewitnesses said. ‘He shouted that he was naked because clothing impairs the aerodynamics of the body. He flies with more agility when undressed,’ REN TV quoted a fellow passenger as saying.”

Thankfully, authorities got a hold of the… situation. The site continues:

“The nude intruder was intercepted by airport staff before he could make it onto his plane to Crimea. He was later detained by police officers. ‘After the police had detained the offender, he was taken to the airport’s medical room and then was hospitalized in a medical facility. The offender is a native of Yakutsk but lives in the Moscow region,’ the press service of the Interior Ministry said.”

Eyewitnesses reportedly said he didn’t seem drunk…so hopefully, he’ll get the help he needs after being checked out at the hospital. We’re also hoping no one was scarred for life by this nude… encounter.

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See the end result in the footage below. The man is handcuffed and sitting on the floor—and yep, still very much naked.

Also, hit the flip to see some petty reactions from the internet.

https://twitter.com/jennabean/status/1110245922934530049

“He’s not wrong,” one person tweeted. Touché.

“If you’re on the wing,” someone else joked.

The resounding conclusion seems to be … “he has a point.”

The best response was from a person named Adam, who asked “You sure it is not supposed to be naked FLORIDA man?”

There was also this Reddit user (@manshutup) who thinks people could very well be flying naked in the near future.

“Poor guy was ahead of his time,” he wrote. “In truth, you get one asshole who somehow figures out how to weaponize underwear elastic, couple that with the airlines figuring out a way to monetize seat covers, and shareholders demanding that the airline squeeze in a couple of more rows with the space saved by not having clothes on their passengers, and we very well may be flying naked in a couple decades.”

Hm. Sounds like a stretch, dude.