The biggest problem in a lot of relationships is the complacency that comes after you finally get the person that you’ve longed for. Often times we get so comfortable with the fact that we got the person that we wanted that we forget to keep the flame alive. Date nights that usually started off with dinner and activities now becomes Chinese food and Netflix; Spontaneous acts such as pop up visits and surprise gifts are now gone; Forehead kisses and shows of affection are now damn near gone. So how do you keep the fire going and keep each other in the honey moon phase? Hopefully this blog can help you.
Always show your partner that you’re on their mind whether it be a text or surprising them at their workplace and bringing them lunch or taking them out.. A dope trick i learned years ago was little post-it notes.. Randomly place them on their refrigerator, bathroom mirror, the night stand, and the TV. Those little notes can say anything but make sure it comes from the heart and it’s not generic.. Show them that your thoughts are pure and that you still feel the same way that you did as when you first pursued them.
Routines are boring.. It makes the relationship very bland and often times the boredom starts with our activities and actions. New Things always are good.. After a while the same old same old gets boring.. If you’ve done dinner and a movie for the last 6 months why don’t you try something new… Go out and explore maybe take her out to a museum (even if their not into it it’ll still show that you thought of going beyond the normal).Take them to a sporting event (and if they don’t understand the sport explain it to them so they can feel involved), Bowling (Nothing like friendly competition within a couple.. Even make some side bets with them to make the game more exciting), Dancing (does not mean just a dance club or lounge they have countless salsa dancing classes and ballroom dancing classes if you want to do something that you can learn together, or hell even a strip club (Yes a strip club can enhance the sexual experience… That is IF you are secure enough within yourself to see your partner being entertained by someone else).
And new things aren’t just limited to outdoor activities they also include bedroom as well.. Go watch some videos for inspiration.. learn some new tricks.. Go visit a sex shop, Role play or even make a home video with your partner… Never EVER let the sexual side go bad that can lead to more problems then you will ever encounter.
Spice Things Up By Being Spontaneous
If you are already in a routine then being spontaneous is the key to breaking that. Now the key about spontaneity is going so far out the box that they’ll be surprised… One thing you can do is a weekend getaway.
Plan ahead and let your partner know that you want to take them away for the weekend but never tell them where you’re taking them but if you want to make things more interesting you can leave them little hints but just enough that you don’t give away the whole trip. The ride up (that’s if you’re driving) blindfold them I know that the blindfolding seems extreme for some lol but it can add a sense of mystery. Now if you’re flying don’t let them know anything until after they get their ticket and even then don’t spill what you have in store for when you land. My advice is a spa day is one of the best things you can do if you want to be fully relaxed or take a guided tour through the place where you’re visiting (unless it’s new york way too much to see and you need to experience yourself).
Now aside from a weekend getaway you can also be spontaneous around the house if your partner is the one who cooks normally take the responsibility off them for that week (not one day give them a week) cook their favorite and cater to their needs. Buy some nice champagne, Light some candles, play some slow music and create an ambience for what you plan on doing.
Then there’s the affection side of being spontaneous if your partner is in the kitchen walk up behind them and slowly kiss their neck give them a slight distraction (unless they’re frying chicken.. Nobody wants burnt chicken or to be popped with grease). If they’re in the shower fellas go in after they do and proceed to wash her down from head to toe and kiss every part you clean and I guarantee she’ll reciprocate and be appreciative of what you’ve done.
My Final thought is the key to any successful relationship.. Communication. Communication is essential to the growth of any relationship,, never assume you know someone so well that you don’t need to communicate with them. Ask your partner is their something more that you can be doing to keep them happy or if something is bothering them. The day that you kill communication effectively you have killed your relationship. Always make sure that the person feels that they communicate with you about anything; Be the person that they bring their issues with never leave your mate with the feeling that they should express what’s wrong in your relationship to everyone else but the person that they’re in a relationship with.
Not everything should be an argument but if it so happens that the conversation gets tense to the point where you two both find yourselves yelling try and defuse the situation. Once two people begin arguing neither truly listens to the other because you’re on the defensive.
Man Crush: The Swirl - Interracial Love [PHOTOS]
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For The Fellas,” So You’ve Got Her… Now What?” by @imchrislewis was originally published on zhiphopcleveland.com